Emeli Sandé – ‘Read All About It’
Nothing against Emeli Sande, but one can’t help but feel she’s been over-represented at the 2012 Olympics. Having sung ‘Abide With Me’ at the Opening Ceremony, last night she delivered her version of Professor Green’s ‘Read All About It’ in two separate, depressingly long parts.
Elbow – ‘Open Arms’, ‘One Day Like This’
We’re not normally ones to resist the opportunity to put down Elbow, but the mawkish orchestral swell of ‘One Day Like This’ was, we must concede, perfectly suited to the occasion. Still not sure about ‘Open Arms’.
George Michael – ‘Freedom’, ‘White Light’
Having jolted the stadium awake with a manic, nay maniacal version of ‘Freedom’, George proceeded to commit an act of bewildering, unforgivable self-indulgence: he performed a new and rather dreadful song.
Kaiser Chiefs – ‘Pinball Wizard’
Guess Kaiser Chiefs haven’t been allowed to perform ‘I Predict A Riot’ at establishment events in London ever since Summer 2011, but that still doesn’t explain why on earth they played ‘Pinball Wizard’ instead. But back up, back up: why on earth were the Kaisers playing at all? Do they still sell records?
Annie Lennox – ‘Little Bird’
Even if like us you feel generally quite warm towards Annie Lennox, you will have been utterly perplexed as to why she performed the theme song from Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula instead of, you know, something good.
Ed Sheeran, Richard Jones, Nick Mason and Mike Rutherford – ‘Wish You Were Here’
In the absence of the real Pink Floyd, the bard of bum-fluff Ed Sheeran sang a lumpen ‘Wish You Were Here’, backed up by The Feeling’s Richard Jones, ex-Genesis journeyman Mike Rutherford and the one Floyd member most members of the public couldn’t recognise to save their life, Nick Mason.
Russell Brand – ‘Pure Imagination’, ‘I Am The Walrus’
Russell’s clowning mime of ‘I Am The Walrus’ was surprisingly affable. That said, The Darkness’s Justin Hawkins would’ve been a better shout, and most punters wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between them.