Every criminal celebrity’s greatest nemesis, The Smoking Gun, has posted scans of M.I.A.’s recent world tour rider online (we’re not calling M.I.A. a criminal there, by the way).

Like Adele, whose US rider was exposed by the same website, these kind of demands tend to make us like the artist more. They’re obviously borderline ridiculous; the clear highlight here a request for a local contact to book three extras aged 20-25, with the same height and body type, stage presence, the ability to “groove to the music” and no qualms about wearing a full burka, but you know, if you can make those sorts of demands then what’s to say we all wouldn’t?

In terms of food and drink, to book M.I.A. internationally last year you’ll have needed to proved a European cheese and cracker tray, a fruit selection that includes watermelon, organic strawberries and cantaloupe, and plenty of alcohol including absinthe. Oh, and given recent form, it’s probably best that you don’t televise it to the world. You can read the whole thing here.

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