This Is Not Happening.

James Murphy has taken the latest step in his Quixotic quest to make New York City’s subway system more musical, teaming with Heineken for the Subway Symphony project as he works to “turn New York subway turnstile beeps into music.”

To that end, Heineken has created a “live, brand-driven documentary” (gross) that follows the project as it develops. But while they “are hoping to have new turnstile notes installed in our first station,” New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) says that it won’t be happening, the stance they have maintained all along.

As MTA’s Adam Lisberg tells Gothamist: “We have heard from him, and as we’ve told him many times, we cannot do it. The tones are an ADA element for the visually impaired, and we won’t mess with them—much less take turnstiles out of service and risk disabling them for an art project. (It would be a very cool project, don’t get me wrong, but we can’t mess with turnstiles that handle 6 million customers a day for it.)”

While Murphy and Heineken seem undeterred, Lisberg adds: “As a condition of filming in the subway, we made them acknowledge that we can’t and won’t do it.” Spoiler alert!

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