Sex, drugs, rock and roll – oh, and that “Limp-dickster motherfucker”.

Al Jourgensen, frontman of ’80s industrial metal outfit Ministry, has written a warts-and-all memoir that looks set to rival the undisputed daddy of the rock recollection genre, Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt.

As well as looking back at the creation of the band’s classic albums – including Land of Rape and Honey, which FACT recently picked as one of the best albums of the 1980s – the book sees Jourgensen dishing the dirt on the many famous faces he came across in his career, from Madonna to Robert Plant to Limp Bizkit’s own chubby-cheeked problem child Fred Durst, as the Ministry man writes:

“The Limp-dickster motherfucker, whatever his name is. I got him naked and in a cowboy hat [in a recording studio]! I’m showing him, ‘Look, you want my sound? This is my sound. This is what I use.’ And he wouldn’t believe it because just by hitting the magic button on the harmonizer that it wouldn’t make him sound exactly like me. He was that naïve. I’m like, ‘Well, try the cowboy hat.’ So I gave him my cowboy hat. . . and it still sounded like shit. So I go, ‘Why don’t you try and get naked? That’s how I sing.’ I was just bullshitting him. So he goes out and does that, and is thoroughly embarrassed, again. And then he just left. I got paid to just humiliate him for three songs. It was awesome.”

Jourgensen also reveals that, like fellow elder statesman of rock Lou Reed, he’s a triumph of modern medicine:

“You know, I’ve actually been printed up in ‘medical marvels’ for the AMA [American Medical Association], where I lost my hepatitis C. That’s a permanent condition. I just had another liver scan last year, and I have no C. Which kind of sucks, because I was working my way through the alphabet – I have A, B, and C, and I was really hoping for D. But D didn’t come around yet, and C is gone. So now I’m just a hepatitis poser.”

As well as the book, fans can look forward to what Jourgensen says will be Ministry’s last-ever studio album, From Beer to Eternity, and his first novel Mind Fuck, whose protagonist, as he explained to Rolling Stone, “goes around to dive bars and talks downtrodden people into killing themselves by the power of persuasion.” Need we say more?

Ministry: The Lost Gospels According to Al Jourgensen is out now, published by Da Capo Press.



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